Look, we get it. You need another fucking login, subscription, and account like Brick needs another guitar.
Actually he does need another guitar—has anyone ever had enough guitars? You know what? This is the perfect analogy: you *do* need another account, one that will at last fill that gaping void in your soul. And this account, it’s a beauty. Contemporary yet vintage. Notoriously reclusive yet relentlessly transparent. In, but also, somehow, out. Trying too hard while not giving a shit. That’s what this account is, and it can be yours today for the low low price of paying attention to Brick. So, what are you waiting for?
This is the first login of the rest of your life. Fans welcome.*
*Also welcome: laconic underachievers, beauty school dropouts, Ivy League completists, ironic distancers and authentic closers, enviable accomplishers, heartbreaking failures, benders of genders, blenders of genders, recalcitrant gendarmes, and bus drivers for the mounties’ musical ride.